How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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