Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
