Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
