But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
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