you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
