he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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