either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
