I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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