i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
