there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
