oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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