she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
