Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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