things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize