I didn't shave. On purpose
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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