I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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