Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
