i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
