So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
