So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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