i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
