I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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