I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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