brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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