That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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