Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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