i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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