you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
