But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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