Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
