Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
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