The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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