We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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