You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
