The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
