I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
