As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
