Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
