had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
