Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Randomize
