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How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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