dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
