At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Just cropdusted the office
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
