Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
