Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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