You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
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