are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
