i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
You dont lie about slip and slides
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
