Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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