Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
