Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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