margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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