you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
