Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I think I am morally bankrupt
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
