I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
