he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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