i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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