There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
