Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Congratulations! We have a period
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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