can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
