i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
In other news, I just burned my penis
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
