thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
