I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
i just google imaged poop.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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