Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
