I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
