those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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