I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize