so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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