they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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