so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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