I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
