Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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