Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
