I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
