i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Randomize
