its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
