brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
