She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
