We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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