will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
