Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
