its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize