Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize