you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
