i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
