I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
