Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize