also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
