Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
